Friday, 5 March 2010

My Birthday party...AGAIN

Happy birthday me. This is what I sound like when I don't have anything interesting to say but I feel I should be posting something anyway. I then attempt to salvage the dull moment by adding a picture...of myself.
Yes, I've been watching Dr.House. No, this picture is not part of a plan to target the demographic of 15 year old girls who think that not eating someone is a sign of eternal love. (For those of you who don't know me any better, my eyes are brown.)

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

An Early Valentine's Card

Agnes is gone & I miss her. AND I just bought a Nikon D5000 which, among other things, films in 1280x720 24p on a 22mm sensor, so I convinced her to let me buy it. Then she went away to the States for two weeks & told me to send her a video to show off my new toy. So "Thrown Together Productions" does it again with Raph doing the filming this time, Peter doing the mix and an electric guitar track in the second half of the song, Getting Lucky, which I wrote the day before yesterday, on Monday in the shower, alone(which gives me an idea for my next video...)

Once again I would like to thank the Lord for the ideas He lets me get. Please, nobody tell Him how it goes to my head or I might not get too many more. :) People treat me like I'm this wellspring of funny ideas, but I swear I ALWAYS feel like my feet are touching the bottom & I'm just making the biggest splash I can out of what's left of a puddle. So thank God for His refills.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Not A Real Blog Post

Another episode in Why I Don't Blog, this month's latest excuse is because I've been busy over the Christmas/New Years season. From October & on we've been working on creating, selling & performing our Christmas show, then since Christmas we've been working on editing the footage for a DVD & trailer so we can start promoting it for next year. The "DVD" is a tedious work in progress--God bless Raph, he's been doing most of the work--but I'm gonna post the trailer which I personally had a lot more fun creating. Maybe because it was more of a low-commitment sort of project. Unfortunately, it's all in French, but it should give you an idea of what's been keeping us all busy here for the last few months.

As if people still visit this blog:
'A la Poursuite de l'Etoile' translates literally as 'In Pursuit Of A Star', but more properly as 'Following a Star'. It's the story of two children; a poor boy (Patric Ross) who is sad because he won't be getting any presents for Christmas, & a rich girl (Heloise Verger) who is so rich she already has all the presents & gifts she could ever want & has nothing to look forward to for Christmas. They both wish on a star to be able to find Christmas cheer. A magical singing doll (Benedicte Ross)& her wishing star (Agnes Verger) offer to guide the children to a treasure which, if found can be theirs for free, but is worth more than all the money in all the world. The treasure has been hidden to protect it from the evil & selfish Mr. Jagadin Shmoole (Me), who discretely if not clumsily, stalks them in their song & dance journey which takes them around the world where they both experience & share the magic & happiness of Christmas...

Dancers & extras: Angelique Verger, Celeste Verger, Christophe Verger, Olivier Verger (Technician)& Rachel Angus.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Is "Awesomest" a real word?

Thrown Together Productions
a Weekend Activity entertainment.

Music, lyrics, performance & video editing by MEEEE...Camera work by Angelique, the little sister of Agnes, to whom this song is dedicated.

Special thanks to Patrick, for his little nylon guitar, Celeste & Angelique for...the props & everybody who cooked, did dishes & watched the kids while I sat around scheming & creating.

Oh yeah, & everyone that passed by & giggled at my work, giving me faith to persevere.

I'd also like to thank God & my mother...nah, just kidding. But seriously, if I don't give the Lord His credit He might not grant me another one (& I REALLY want another one.) PTL.

Saturday, 5 September 2009

Offensive Showbiz

I'll admit I've had wittier posts. I'm not sure why I thought this was funny. I guess the moral of the story is: When you're tired go to bed, don't go to your computer & try to blog.

Thursday, 3 September 2009

Disclaimers & Apologies

...opening with a pic of me from our trip to the beach. I was playing with the sand & Agnes didn't want me to burn my scalp so...hence the cute red thing. I would have included a pic of her too except she was now topless.

Ok, on with it now. First of all I should say that EVEN I don't believe EVERYTHING I say, so don't feel like I necessarily NEED you to agree. Sometimes it's just to make you laugh. Sometimes it's just to take this piss out of you or get frenzied feedback & comments on my blog.

That said, I should confess a thing or two about myself (specifically regarding my post on "Women Talk" below):

Although you'd THINK that at my age I'd know how to flirt maturely--with poetry, song & a suave manliness, I'm still a bit of a 10yr old boy on the inside & all I KNOW how to do is tug on the girls' ponytails & pull up their skirts. Sorry, that's all I got.

Now, add to that that MOST of girls I want the attention of are mothers. Doesn't making a harmlessly offensive assessment of their social practices seem like a brilliant solution for someone in my position? It's how one thinks outside of the box when the box is the very thing you're thinking to speak.

Women Talk

Disclaimer: I have already been informed that this is probably one of the worst pieces I've ever written, but feel free to pile it on. Oh, & any resemblances the characters in this article may bear to specific REAL people (beside myself) are a pure coincidence of stereotype. (Full disclaimer coming in a future post.)

We have a small dining room in our kitchen so it often happens that I’m doing the lunch dishes while the girls have their tea/coffee time &, especially when we have other girl visitors, the girl-talk conversation INEVITABLY wonders to a conference of pregnancy/childbirth testimonials. It’s like a time of feminine solidarity, a bonding activity that brings together women of all ages & walks of life & unites them around this common adventure that they, either have or yet will, embark upon toward the propagation of humanity.

Now I’m not one of those guys that turn green & leave the room at the mention of…you know, mucus plugs, bloody tampons, un-dilated cervix' & tearing... To the contrary, as long as it’s not housewife gossip & soap operas, I find MOST forms of girl talk quite fascinating because you get to hear how girls relate to other girls (it’s almost educational). And honestly, what girl TRIES to make herself sound grosser than she HAS to be in her own story? Truth be told, I’d sooner overhear that than a two hour discussion on cars & sports.

Now, at first I used to think it was normal & natural that if you’ve spent nine months with a perfect stranger in your tummy & then spent the better part of a day squeezing it out of a hole that was pretty much just designed for sticking things INTO, you WOULD have a tendency to want to talk about it a lot at any opportunity & to anyone who will listen. Granted.

But, you know, you do lunch dishes often enough & you start noticing strange conversational patterns recurring. For example, in most NORMAL conversations the comments are triggered by the previous comments, right? Whether it’s contradicting it or agreeing, answering or denying, adding information or adjusting it with a different objective, every contribution is built on the preceding ones, & we call it a conversation.

NOT SO with the preggy talk, no. When mothers converse (or should we say “air their collective experiences”) one of them will go on for as long as seems polite & then let the next girl have a go & so on. And when it’s her turn again she’ll simply continue her story where she left off, like episodes of a TV series that have nothing to do with the other series other than sharing air time on your TV. At least that’s how it SUPPOSED to work! Cuz when one of them ACCIDENTLY slips back into a normal conversational pattern (& some of them do that a lot), her contribution is immediately resented & she won’t get invited to tea next time.


For example, if girl number three says, “I was in labour for a whole day!” & then girl number one or two (who just HAD their turn) adds, in a normal conversational manner, “Oh that must have been terrible, I was in labour for 36 hours, so I know how it feels…” the unspoken energy in the room will be “Hey, what’s with that? Despite the shroud of sympathetic pleasantry, you’re just cutting in the queue to trump MY story with your extra 8 hours & undermine my degree of martyrdom! Wh…why would you do that? Why?”

Not that it actually MATTERS because, according to my theory (which is still in the refining stage), they’re not even actually LISTENING to the other women’s story. No, while ONE of them is talking, what the rest are ACTUALLY doing is keeping tabs on the windows in the conversation. You know what I mean? When is the appropriate time to cut off the current speaker & who’s turn is it to do so? Does the one speaking feel that she is getting sufficient respect & support out of our time together or should we ask little questions about her story to show interest & help her feel that it’s all about her?

It’s a delicate balance that many men may never understand or fully appreciate, but it serves a double purpose. Firstly, not listening to the other’s stories allows them, as I said, to concentrate on making this time satisfying & mutually rewarding for all the pain, nausea & sacrifice that has wrenched each of these women out of the cocoon of girlhood into motherhood through one or more traumatizing experiences. Secondly, if you KNOW the other girls aren’t listening to your story, well then it means it’ll be JUST as exciting when you get to tell it to them again tomorrow.

But that's just a dishwasher's theory.
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