Recession-proofing your lifestyle!

Money is like women: Everyone wants lots of it & even though no one really understands how it works, if you can grasp some basic principles, it’ll make your life a LOT less complicated. And did you ever notice that those who get some are often the ones who ALREADY HAVE some? Then there’s the misconception that if you keep groveling they’ll eventually put out, but maybe that’s what Jesus was talking about when He said (referring to money & possessions), “Make the kingdom of God your priority & all these other things will be added to you!” ‘Cuz in reality, it’s only when you start getting interested in something else that they feel they need to start flaunting their stuff.
This recent recession might be like a bit of a dry spell for you, or maybe you were NEVER much of a Don Juan with Lady Luck & Mistress Mammon (ancient god of money) who, ironically seem to enjoy flashing their goodies but never let you touch. Well, here are a couple tips that might really slap’em where it hurts.
Faith. We are finding that that’s ALL our economy is made of! Just like women seem to be able to smell a lack of confidence, all this fear & media-hype about recession is probably half its cause! In our enlightened, God-independent, sophisticated culture we’ve opted for a faith that we could see, hold in our hands & stick in our wallets—a religion upon which we could all agree & which could unite us. Fairy tales & superstition is for the children, right? And now we’re finding out that those pieces of paper for which we slaved & all those one’s & zeros we put our faith in were but a hoax devised by the economic high priests who have the masses high & horny on Viagra credit & worshipping in their commercial temples.
What fools these mortals be!
Hope. We need to start putting our eggs in different baskets. We don’t want to make financial mayhem but there must be other ways to invest our time, energy, passion & effort. Are we really living life? Do we spend time to help our neighbor—to let him know you’ll be there in hard times & to know that he’ll be there for you? When was the last time we thought about the value that lies in a child—so busy with the next paycheck that we’ve forgotten the hope of our future?
Love. Here’s how women are NOT like money: Everybody needs love. It’s what everybody’s dying for. Money is the dead math made to fill the void in the heart of every boy AND girl--& the God we forgot about is waiting for a chance to fill it with the power of love that made the universe. He’s trying to flirt with YOU & get YOUR attention & He’s kind of hoping that after getting screwed over by Mammon, you’ll give Him a second chance to win your heart! He sent Jesus to give His life to pay for the greatest gift a lover could give: eternal life together, with joy & love & no more fear. He’s ringing the doorbell of your heart & waiting for you to answer. He’s on one knee waiting for you to say “yes”. Won’t you do it now?