Monday 13 October 2008

Defining "Slut"

Not actually as simple as it seems because, despite the dictionary definitions, in SPOKEN English it’s use is pretty subjective. One dictionary definition of “slut”: A dirty, slovenly woman. See what I mean? It’s almost like we’re talking about a different word here. I say the problem is that “slut” is a “Woman Word”; which is to say that, like MANY words women use, it doesn’t MEAN, it EXPRESSES—in this case, mainly a sour grape frustration.

For example, you happen to know, from experience & hours spent naked in front of a mirror, that your breasts are your strong point. They’re what give you a head start on most other girls. They are your plan A & maybe even D. Your favourite clothes are the ones that put this “best foot” forward & God has tilted the scales in your favour. All your male friends know that that is 100% woman & they are reminded of it every time you walk in the room.

In this scenario, we can only IMAGINE your disgust when Satan invents the padded push-up bra! Yes, the degrading, artificial apparatus for the desperate & insufficient. The cunning vixen already HAS nicer legs than you, for God’s sake WHY did she have to steal your breasts? How unfair is that? It’s not that YOU CAN’T wear one too. It’s just that YOU DON’T & people need to KNOW THAT! Don’t men deserve to be warned when they’re being cheated? How does one retaliate against such lying trickery?

Aarrgh! The hormones rush to your head & a strange sound begins to hiss in your mouth & then slips out. “Slut!”

It’s like cracking your knuckles. It does this funny noise, feels good at the moment & makes pointing the finger so much more refreshing.

Here’s a more interesting definition, definitely closer to how it’s usually used: “A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous”. So basically, “Slut” is the feminine form of “Stud”? Yup, someone who has an easy time getting members of the opposite sex into the sack. But, I’m sorry, you’ll INSTANTLY notice the absence of that almost ENVIOUS tone that accompanies “Stud” when you hear the snide pronunciation of “Slut”. Because of this OBVIOUS connotation difference, this is not a definition that reflects the true message of this poignant word.

Reportedly, it’s meaning is distinguished from “bitch” by the following subtle nuance: A “slut” is a girl who sleeps with everyone, a “bitch” is a girl who sleeps with everyone EXCEPT you…Now, while that’s insightful to human nature, it’s not at ALL helpful with defining the word in question ‘cuz the poor girl doesn’t EVEN HAVE TO GET THE GUY INTO BED in order to earn this title! Maybe it’s just because she wears short skirts…or make-up? Or discreetly uses her upper arms to squeeze her breasts together when she laughs…KIND OF UNPREDICTABLE, really.

Hey! You’ll notice that “slut” is ONLY EVER used BY WOMEN--with the exception of men who have recently discovered they aren’t as special as they thought they were. (Cough--women--cough!)

“Yeah, sure, when she was having sex with ME, she was hot. When I find out she’s doing EXACTLY the SAME thing with someone ELSE, suddenly she’s a slut!” A more textbook example of hypocrisy could not be conjured. Deflated male ego kills testosterone, apparently giving way to surges of estrogen or some other feminine hormone inspiring pouty accusations.

Others use it as a synonym for “whore”, apparently forgetting that, what MAKES a whore a whore, is that she gets PAID—not usually the case with “sluts”. The very reason “slut” is almost spoken with a spit is that she’s UNDERCHARGING, undermining the market: like…like giving away free tacos just across the street from a Mexican restaurant. The resentment in the competition is that they will need to LOWER their prices to stay in business. So THAT definition’s no good either.

But it almost points us in the right direction. The USE of this word almost says MORE about the person who UTTERED it than it does about the person it was aimed at. Let’s try this definition on for size:

Slut: A word used by one woman to describe other women who will do promiscuous things she --for reasons practical, social or imaginary--won’t do.

10 comments:

Angie Staughton said...

Heh, that was great....I needed a good laugh on Monday morning.

I just linked to your blog and have quickly become a fan. You should have been blogging ages ago.

Good humor never gets boring, and so far so good. :)

Anonymous said...

Good one! I'll have to show this one to Mike, who is btw probably your biggest fan--almost read your balaam's ass story at devotions but the internet wouldn't work.
Keep posting!

The Silver Princess said...

almost read it at devotion hu..wow what a close shave there. :-)

Anonymous said...

Another word in need of redefining is Pervert. Usually uttered by near naked women to refer to any man who happens to mistakenly or otherwise look at them for a milisecond.

As in I am naked ,and just walked by him and HE LOOKED AT ME! WHAT A PERVERT

CurlyCel said...

You're blogging! Yay! I always hoped you'd get with it. (Yes, I'm late in noticing, oh well!) - Love your talent. ;)

P.S. I've had many a debates about this subject, but you totally sum up the conclusions I've reached each and every time. - It is a relief!

Unknown said...

you're a good writer ---- i enjoyed ur pieces.

Paul said...

This was very good. I agree that there are other words that you need to define for us. I think you ought to write a dictionary.

Boo ya said...

I loved it..

Rhyden said...

good writing man

Alyx Jones said...

ha ha! brilliant post.

 
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